Here in Venezuela we have a saying that is that ¨everyone has a cross to carry¨, meaning that no one has a perfect life, no marriage is perfect, no family is perfect... some people have to live with an illness, others have financial problems, or a problem child, or a sick parent... so many things can go wrong in your life... and probably something will go wrong in a moment of your life... I mean is a fact. So it is not a thing of having a problem but how we deal with it.
Right now my cross is living in this beautiful country, were I was born, where I have lived all my life, where my family and my heart is, a country that makes me.. ¨me¨, a country full of color, laughter, sun, and happy people but which is sick in so many ways... I usually don´t talk about politics but lately is so much a part of our lives that is hard to ignore. That brings me back to Ale, Emi and Ari... three pure souls, three innocent children with their lives ahead of them, and a world for them to conquer, who are having to live in a country which as they hear and see is not providing any of the things a ¨home¨ should provide us.
Sometimes my heart aches when I see them listening to so many problems, I hate it that they are growing up learning to mistrust everyone, and to watch over their shoulder so they don´t get robbed... it is hard to explain why good people like the police and the national guard are not always the good guys, and why our normal now is not going out at nights, having to cross Caracas trying to find something as simple as diapers, milk, toilet paper.. our whatever basic need we need, not being able to go on a road trip in Venezuela because the risks involved are unthinkable. Why so many of their friends are leaving... or why every adult conversation revolves around the same subject of moving to another country or not, over and over again.
A lot of Venezuelans have given in, some have left the country in search for not just a better life, but a peaceful one, and the ones that have stayed are starting to loose hope, to loose that happiness that characterizes our people. But to all these (and a whole lot more) I refuse to give in... I don´t want my girls to grow in fear, I don´t want them to think anything else aside from their childhood games, I want them to feel safe at home, and even though they are not living in the same Venezuela I lived in when I was growing up, I want them to love and embrace their country. I want them to have parents that are not always worried, or thinking about options, and alternatives all the time...
I don´t know if I am doing it right, but I do try to cover reality with big smile, with a home full of love, with a cake in the oven now and then, with friends over Fridays after school, with parental control on what they see on TV, and trying to control what they hear us say (at least at home). I turn up the volume every chance I get and dance with them, and I pretend that all is cool. I will tell them Big Fish stories everyday if it is necessary... and try to keep our conversations simple and child-friendly. We try to travel every chance we get to breath in some sense of ¨normal¨. I have taught my girls (specially Emi who is more sensible) to see life as a horse, and that if she is in a situation where she is listening to things that scare her or if she sees something that she thinks is too much for her, to take the reigns and ride that horse away to a happier place, to a place she can control.
Challenges make us stronger, make us grow... make us tough. We cannot control everything, but we can decide not to give in to fear and sadness. So I say it again, and I will repeat it to myself how many times I need to.. BLOOM wherever you are planted. This is where we are planted, and I have three beautiful flowers that will give color to my garden!
I wrote this last night, and this morning on my way back from taking the girls to school, I was greeted by the most beautiful morning, full of fresh air, blue sky, cool weather, and hope! I love you Caracas... keep blooming!
Hi! my name is Carolina Perisse de Rico, I am a stay at home architect with the biggest project ever... my girls! The oldest is 16, then I have an 14 year old, and my miracle baby who is 6. Glad you are here, hope you stay a while!
Am now a member of Communal Global!!!