There are two times a year were I become overly sentimental... during Christmas and at the end of the school year. During Christmas it all begins with the twinkly lights, and the feeling of love and warmth that invades my heart, and my house... I just enjoy watching my girls be girls and seeing my family be a family... It´s like the world is this little perfect place, were everybody loves one another, and anything and everything revolves around family... Christmas simply makes my heart dance and sing!
During this time of the year is a different feeling, is the feeling of not wanting my girls to grow up, of wanting to keep them all three on my lap forever, of wanting life to stand still just for a little while longer. I see Ale moving on to seventh grade, she doesn´t need me to do her hair in the mornings any more, her friends tend to be a little more exciting than us, and well she is twelve, she thinks she has it all figured out by now, There is Emi, growing up and always my sweet girl.. but still I know she is growing, and then our Ari, who will attend her sisters´ ¨big girls´ school this coming year, and even though she is our baby, well... if she is going to her sisters´ school I guess she is not that little anymore. And the emotion begins...
I think I become emotional because my girls are the ones that with their curiosity and wonder make me see the world as a much better place a beautiful place full of colors and possibilities. With their love, innocence and honesty they teach me and re teach me again and again what really matters in life. And as I age, as I start to see wrinkles in my face, is the sparkle in their eyes that keep me young, is their beauty inside and out that make me beautiful, is their laughter that makes me laugh... is their hearts that make me love... it´s them, is being their mom what makes me the person I am and the person I want to be. They make me believe in unicorns, they make me want to climb on a rainbow and find the pot of gold... they just make me happy!
God is definitely amazing, he gives us the chance to relive our childhoods by giving us children, we get to do the things we loved the most again and also to do them better, and maybe we are also able to do the things we didn´t do through them... And so I sit here, and I just want to put on a flowery dress and dance to a happy tune, put a flower on my head, and lay on the grass with my girls only to see what shapes the clouds make for us today! Because really... I can´t seem to find anything more important than this!
I think she just saw an unicorn!
While in most parts of the world school is already out, we still have about three more weeks to go... and I would say this is the hardest month of the school year. We are all tired, in fact, I am exhausted, there is a lot of drama going around with all the sports competitions, final exams, and end of year plays... our schedule seem to run wild with a million extra things to do, and by the time the girls are all tucked in at night, my battery lasts like one more minute and am off. But then again, as tiresome as it is, it is the time of the year were we see all our effort smiling back at us with a proud smile of your daughter receiving a medal, or her eyes reaching not wanting to reach yours if she didn´t win, and that hug when she does give in and wants to hug you and not let go... or Emi´s standing up high tall and beautiful dressed as a bailaora, believing that all dreams can and maybe will come true!
Yesterday was Emi´s final dress rehearsal before the real thing... and they had a photoshoot so that the day of the play that stress is over. Is a good thing that Emi´s flamenco teacher knows am the mom with the camera and the blog, and let me sneak in behind the real photographer!!! I was able to take some pretty great shots but because I was running late and with mi little Ari on tug, I left the camera in the car, so I did my best with my iphone...
This last shot is the cutest... here is my baby, always there, observing, watching closely, listening.. learning, and I am sure dreaming!
Hope you all have a great weekend, and remember to never stop dreaming!
On the next to last post ¨life 101¨ I talked about how life was not really about winning, how life is hard and a lot of times unfair, and how in some way I was happy that my girls, specially Alessia, was (as much as it hurts) learning that so very important lesson by loosing at her last gymnastics competition.
After Ale´s gymnastics competition Emi had her turn in the field, unfortunately this time was not her day either. This year she is the youngest in her category having girls up to two years older than her, so in days where a lot of schools are competing there is a good chance that she´ll have it rough! The thing is that for Emi, winning is not an issue, she is really happy by just being there and giving her best shot, her all, everytime, everyday, at anything she does!
As I always say... my daughter.. my teacher! Emi with her sweet and brave way is a life lesson all by its own...
On Friday, Ale competed again.. we were nervous, and as much as I said that it wasn´t all about winning, that we don´t always get what we want, or what we deserve, well Ale...she needs to win, she is like that! So not wining this time would have been a pretty big deal for her. Thankfully... she did great!!!!! And I think that maybe more than happy I was relived, I didn´t want to go over life 101 with her again! haha And she was happy... over the moon proud and happy!
Friends do definitely make winning even better!
And then of course there is Ari, always there, my willing companion, my not so very silent witness of all the miles driven, of all the laughs in the car, the ups and the downs of having big sisters, always smiling and singing probably unaware of any big event, because for her everything is equally exciting. This little one, doesn´t care about winning or loosing, her love and awe for her sisters is completely unconditional she doesn´t know the difference between first or last place, she just knows how good it feels to have a family that feels, that sings, that dances, that cries.... a family with two sisters that just make her laugh!
This weekend was Ale´s 2nd gymnastics competition this year. The first, she did great and won two silver medals, one bronze and her team won gold all around! Yeap, that is pretty great! and it sure makes for a great weekend, and a reason to celebrate... ¨life is good, is easy and fun!¨ But then life comes around and pitches a curved ball.... and this time Ale fell off the beam which is where she does best, after that, she got really nervous and lost her concentration, which made her land terrible in her floor routine, after that.. it was like a snowball getting bigger and bigger. It was so hard seeing her hold back her tears through out the whole thing, I just wanted to go hold her and protect her, just get my little girl and come home and rock her to sleep. When it was over, she cried and cired... and cried, she was mad, she was frustrated, she was angry... I tried to calm her down a million ways, until I realized that maybe loosing was the medal we all as a family had to earn, the medal of standing back up, and not letting a bad day ruin a whole year of excitement, fun and friends. And learning that a medal does not define us, what defines us is something much greater, more sublime, shinier, but we don´t wear it around our necks as a prize, is something we work for our entire lives.
Life is not about winning, life is not perfect, we all know there will be times when even though we deserve something we will not get it. Life is not fair either, it is not easy, and the sooner they understand this the better for them! The secret is to celebrate life, the happy moments, the giggles with your friends, the nights with your family, the little things... not the medals! I don´t want them to value themselves for winning, but by the size of their heart, and for the smile they put on the people around them. That´s whats important, that is what matters when the sun comes down.
For this, the only thing that I as a mom will strive for, is to raise three women who are exceptional at heart, my hope for them is in their spirit, in their character, in their hearts. This is where I want them to be the best at, exceptional... amazing! I want them to strive to achieve their dreams, which ever dream that is, I want them to put their heart and soul into being good, kind, happy and brave girls, I want them to love with all their might and I want them to be loved. And then I want them to know that in my heart they are by far the most perfect beautiful girls that I always dreamed of!
So Ale, you just learned one great life lesson... keep smiling baby you are doing great!
As for me... my shiniest medal, the one I strive to earn every single second of every single day... is the sparkle in their eyes.... this sparkle, this twinkle in their eyes, only this I ask of God...
Oh... and next competition is this Friday! so pray please!!!! haha
This past week was Emi´s first track and field competition. Emi is a fast runner.. but her mind is also always running fast, and with that comes a lot of anxiety. I always mention Emi being anxious but never really talk about it here. Emi is my mini me around the house, if you want to know anything about this household, she will probably know the answer... the thing is that she is only ten, and I think that maybe she shouldn´t worry so much about everything. Emi smile is her hallmark, her sweetness defines her in so many levels, but what you don´t see behind her caring self is that she struggles with anxiety... somedays more than others, sometimes not at all, sometimes is clear what she is nervours about, yet sometimes she doesn´t know what is making her feel that way. Not a lot of people notice it, but she is my child, and I know that look in her eyes that makes me equally anxious because I can not help her stop worrying, and I know she is struggling. This... is the most difficult part, not being able to really help her.
On Thursday, well it was clear she was nervous about competing, but she was able to control herself, she breathed, drank sips at a time of Gatorade, prayed, gave me a kiss... looked into my eyes for reassurance and competed.. To me, seeing her run like the wind was a gasp of fresh air when you feel like you cannot breath anymore, and not because I wanted her to win first place, I was beyond happy because I knew that every step she took was proving her how amazing she is, and the power she has within herself to do anything she sets her mind to. And not because she is fast, really I could care less how fast she is, but because she overcame her fears, she was crushing whatever it was that was making her nervous, and that victory right there, well it felt soooo good!
Yeap... Two medals that day one, gold for 100 meters, and her team won gold in relay..... plus that smile, and the feeling of achievement!!! and my smile... which you can´t see, and my hidden teary eyes!
Among many things I pray for patience, faith, and love.... and with that, any sky will look as the sky that day!
Have a great week!
Yesterday I came across a quote that said: ¨life whispers... listen closely¨. I loved it so much that I put it up on instagram. Life whispers... so true, we just have to listen closely which is not really easy with all the noise coming from every single thing in our lives. Yesterday for instance was a pretty loud day, there is the usual stress of living in Venezuela, beautiful yes, but lately so complicated and stressful. People get trapped in useless conversations about how we are constantly hitting rock bottom and how we could turn our lives and country around, the constant question of how are we supposed to keep on living here, and still not wanting to ever leave the country that we love so much... On top of all this taking up a lot of space in my mind, it finally rained, which is good, but traffic in Caracas goes wild with a single drop of rain, so we didn´t make it in time to Ale´s gymnastics and had to turn around pick Emi up from track and field training and head home to arrive almost at the same time as if we had made it to the gym. When I got home, I found Ari unaware of the world around her, in her own little birthday party for her toy friends....
That was all I needed to stop and listen closely.... because I know that it doesn´t get any better than this. Life is sweet, it is a constant celebration of love, it is the smile on your child´s face celebrating a birthday party for her toys, and then is your turn to blow the candle and suddenly you are also two and nothing else matters... and all you had to do was listen closely! Isn´t it wonderful?
And then there are times when life speaks ouy loud and so very clear just in case that when it whispered you were not listening. This morning... My stepson got his first job offer, and he immediately sent me and his dad a picture via whattsapp. I was sooo happy to hear this, but what made my day was what he told me afterwards...(I took a screen shot of our little conversation, hope he doesn´t mind)
For those of you who don´t speak Spanish, the important part says that he is super thankful for everything that I have done for him, that he listens to me more than I could ever imagine... and that also I should know that he loves me like if I was his mom! ... Then of course I cried tears of happiness!
Raising a child that is not yours is not easy, it has its ups and downs.... the downs can be very low, but when you get rewarded like this... oh my, I think I cannot put into words the goodness of it all! Today I was reassured that this little part of this family´s puzzle, is good, it was hard earned.... because family, is not given just like that, is hard work. Maybe so that every reward we get from it can be heartfelt and celebrated, and so that when life whispers.... we´ll be able to listen to it!
Have a great week you guys! And if you liked this post, please vote for me! And don´t forget to visit me also at Communal GLobal today!
I usually write what´s in my mind... there are moments that bring up feelings within me that I just need to put into words, they just pour out of me and as they come out I post them, I don´t rewrite my feelings, I like them raw, as I feel them, no over thinking them... but this week I´ve been giving it a lot of thought on what I want to write for mothers day.
Two things come to mind when I think about motherhood... my mom and my girls... and in the middle, me as a mom. When I think about my mom is when I get like an overload of good feelings that I cant seem to untangle. My mom is the best mom in the whole world, she is smart. intelligent, funny, optimistic to a fault, wise, kind, selfless, maybe too generous. strong, courageous, patient. She has taught me everything I am and everything I am not. When I think about my childhood the one feeling that always comes to me is being loved. I never ever wondered if I was loved for I knew I was adored. and I know today that I am still adored. I know that I only have to pick up the phone for my mom to drop anything or everything for me. If I need a word of wisdom there she is, if I need to laugh well there she is, if I need to be listened, oh my there she is.... If I don´t know what to say to Ale or Emi in any given situation I just need to ask her and like magic any issue is resolved. But the most important thing I think my mom taught my sisters and I is the meaning of ¨home¨... of ´our home¨, she taught us every day with every action that love in our family is unconditional and endless.
The door to our home had little bells hanging on it so that when you opened it, it had this magical sound... it was this little twinkly peaceful sound that alerted everyone that somebody had arrived! And before coming in there was always someone at the door to greet you with a smile, whether it was my mom, my dad or one of my sisters.... there was always someone there. Once you got in, this awesome feeling of ¨am home¨ and feeling ¨am loved¨ took over you, and this was valid not only for us but for anyone that came home with us. At home there was no competition, no comparisons, no striving for first places, no pretending needed to fit in, it was or it is a place to be the best, and be loud about it or just be silent. It´s a place where forgiveness is real, and mistakes happen. There we have disagreed maybe more than we have agreed... because we know that no matter what, we are loved, and treated with respect. Chaos did happen sometimes, fights did too.... tears, and some hard years, but there was always my mom, strong as a rock, in the middle, never tired, always there, forever loving... and we worked out every single thing together as a family... no one ever felt alone, never were we alone to feel alone. Our most basic and maybe unspoken rule was Love without questioning...
So now that I have my own little home, with three beautiful souls in it, I can only hope that my girls feel the same way about their home, and if they feel the same way about me as I feel about my mom, well... I would be the luckiest mom ever. That´s why no matter how many times I´ve lost it, or yelled or cried, I´ll always serve another bowl of ice cream to get a smile out of any of my girls, I´ll watch Peppa Pig over Criminal Minds, I´ll drive across Caracas as many times a day as I have too, I´ll dance to whatever song they are playing, I´ll pick up one thousand pairs of shoes a day without getting really mad, I´ll do fourth grade and sixth all over again, I´ll happily never eat a meal without someone on my lap, I´ll put make up in the car after everyone is beautiful and ready.... Because my heart is full, complete, and the days are long but the years are so short.
Remember, our children´s smile is on us! Hope you all had a great mother´s day, embrace your family and children, and smile.... because we have been blessed!
and today.. the absolute without question best grandma in the whole wide world!
Te amo mami! eres la mejor del mundo... espero que no hayas llorado este post!
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Mother´s day.... The truth is I really enjoy it! I love the anticipation on my girls´ eyes every time they talk about the present they are making me at school, how they just come running and hug me and tell me how much am going to love the surprise they are planning! I love the million times they ask Gabriel what it is that he is getting me.... or the many times they remind me that Sunday is just a few days away. They usually make breakfast and set the table, or surprise me with breakfast in bed.... but then of course, it isn´t a fairy tale story and real life happens, I still have to wash the dishes after breakfast, and when we go for lunch at my mom´s, us mothers are the ones hosting our little party, the girls might act out for no reason, we will have to hurry not to be late for church, Ari might start crying, because it isn´t true that the whole day will be pink and perfect.... but it is true that for that day, I will probably be thanked a million times for being the best mom ever, I will be kissed more often, and I will believe that I am the best mom in the whole wide world, because when they say it I can see in their eyes that they really mean it! And for me to feel and see that love in my girls´ eyes makes every sacrifice I make worth it a million times!
So at night when the girls are all sleeping and I fall exhausted on my bed tired of a long day, overwhelmed by how many times I heard my name during the day... I close my eyes and see Emi smile, or remember something funny that Ari did, or Ale´s sudden burst of exaggerated love...and I can only smile and sigh and fall asleep happy!
Yesterday I had Ari´s mother´s day at school. I really thought that I had been through so many by now that maybe this time I would come out dry eyed.... and I would stay composed and be able to wear mascara and stay pretty for the whole hour. Well, I guessed wrong.... There is no such thing as not crying when you have your baby there looking at you with big eyes trying to impress you, singing proudly for you to hear her over the other kids, and saying I love you louder than any other little one in that classroom. And then that hug at the end of the hour.... oh well.... that just tops it all!
Here in Venezuela we don´t have seasons, but we do have rainy season and dry season.... well.... it should have but it hasn´t started to rain, so there is a lot of smug concentrated in the air, and by the end of the day we get this ¨calima¨ or cloud of dust, which is like a mist but of smoke, that even though its bothersome, hot and gives you pretty bad allergies, it makes for the best sunsets ever.... Here is yesterday´s when we were coming home from gymnastics! It made our time in traffic worth the while!
Hope you have a great day, and don´t forget to link up with Communal Global today and visit some friends!
Life and motherhood.... definitely not always easy or pink. We have our days... our moments. This weekend was one of those ¨moments¨ were it was hard to see the glory.
Caracas has the perfect weather.... so perfect that is something that we don´t even talk about, we don´t need AC, our windows are always open.. lately people use AC in their bedrooms, but is really not necessary. It´s sunny and breezy, weather is just un-existing. We dress how we want to, long sleeves or short sleeves is the same... shorts or pants.... but there are the days that it slightly changes and is a little hotter.... and when this happens.... well, I get hot! haha.... like bad mood hot! If you add to the warmer weather Ari being ¨two¨, Emi´s time of year were she starts to struggle with anxiety, and Ale being as teenager as can be.... well, it doesn´t add up to a perfect weekend.
Still, I know that in between these moments... there is so much good. We just need to breath in and not let how tired we are, or how frustrated we feel to distract us from the gloriousness of life. Because this much I know: glory and magic live in the ordinary, we don´t have to wait for big special moments to have it. Is there all along.
And then right there, in the midst of a pretty hot Sunday, when I felt stressed, and overwhelmed... I decided to still make a good day by night time, and create memories.... We are mothers, we have superpowers we don´t even realize we do... we can change a bad day into a glorious one... we are moms. And that is how this Sunday, turned out a pretty cool one!
We turned our fountain into a cool shower!
Emi taught me how to embrace every single drop of cool water
I turned our ornamental fountain into a water park!
And with a fresher take on our day, we went for lunch at my sister´s and of course... family always makes everyone happy!
And so with that... a pretty hot Sunday turned into a very pink Monday morning!
Hope you all have a glorious week!
Carpe Diem! that seems to be like the thing you have to do.... more when you are a mom and everyone reminds you to ¨carpe diem¨... seize the day... enjoy them while they are little, they grow up so fast... but the days are so long, and life is so hectic that those little big words sometimes tend to be just a phrase, a pretty one, but unreal. I think that my life now among a toddler and teenagers is like a marathon.... I have my best running shoes on, the best running music, I have trained, but am also out of breath most of the time, my feet hurt, am thirsty, its hot, and even though I might not be enjoying every single minute of the race, there are moments that I am able to pause and breath and enjoy what am doing, to feel proud of what I have accomplished so far, and eager to get to the finish line. And then once I cross the finish line, I know I´ll immediately want to run another race... and even though each mile was treacherous and painful, the feeling of accomplishment I feel at doing something I set my mind to makes sense of the hard work it meant to get there.
Motherhood is a lot like running a marathon or climbing a mountain... we don´t enjoy every single minute of every single day. that´s almost an impossible task specially when you are raising your family, but everyday there are moments worthy of seizing, moments that make up for all the other moments that go by unnoticed, moments worth of a photograph, and when they are worthy of a picture is because they mean something and because they are beautiful, and because those are the moments that matter, and that piece by piece make up the puzzle of our lives. Sometimes this moments don´t necessarily have to be joyous and happy moments, real life is not always perfectly happy, these seize the day moments can be also the moments when you ask for forgiveness, or when you forgive someone, when you cry, when you feel sad but have a shoulder to cry on, and by acknowledging those little moments am sure that years from now when I see these regular and uneventful pictures I will remember an ordinary day as extraordinary, and I will again know that it´s been good!
Everyday, in the middle of my very hectic life, there is always a magical moment... the thing here is to be able to recognize them and stop for a minute to cherish them... to ¨Carpe¨ them. For me this moments are simple.....
Is the magic of suddenly seeing Ari´s love for a wooden dog she found in the middle of a store, and how she looked at me peacefully and innocently unaware of her surroundings, begging me without words to love this little one!
Is the joy I see in my dad´s face whenever he is with one of his grandchildren!
Is enjoying, seeing, and feeling Ari´s life as she slides down for the 30th time!
I stop and breathe in moments like this when I see cousins becoming best friends for life!
And my hearts jumps with joy in moments when I see sisterhood making it´s way into my girls lives!
And then there are this so very ordinary moments when the girls get home from school and they just run me over with hugs and kisses.... and then I say selfieeee.... and they say yessss!!!!!
So go and don´t carpe diem.... but carpe a minute or two...!!!!
Hi! my name is Carolina Perisse de Rico, I am a stay at home architect with the biggest project ever... my girls! The oldest is 16, then I have an 14 year old, and my miracle baby who is 6. Glad you are here, hope you stay a while!
Am now a member of Communal Global!!!