Many things have me on the edge of my seat, specially and maybe specifically my girls. How can I protect them from hurting, from being afraid, how do I keep their perfect little life perfect, untouchable? because as of today I would give my life for theirs, I would cut all my hair off to save them from evil, I would do anything to protect their innocence... but there is nothing for me to do to protect them this time, They will have to go through this part of our story with me. They will inevitably cry they will see me crying, their happy mom will surely have bad moments, bad days... I won´t look like them anymore, their pretty mom will have to show them that what I´ve told them since they were little that beauty comes from within... is for real! And there is no way around it, no big fish stories this time,
And as am sitting here thinking about the story of our life, I realize that GOOD STORIES HAVE BAD MIDDLES, that when life hands you a very bad card, a horrible day, when it throws you shit in your face, you have to remember is just the MIDDLE, a chapter in your life. and because it is my story that has a bad middle, is me that has to do the writing and figure out how in hell am going to make it to the end and make it beautiful, I will have to find a purpose in this bad middle, and a resolution and a way home.
Of course, it makes me nauseous that I have to take my girls in this journey with me, there is no way we can skip this chapter, but such is life, we have a bad middle and we will fix it... we will figure it out, we´ll write a good ending...
So, I welcome you to this chapter of my life, this is just a chapter, it is not me, it will not define me, it will possibly change me, but it is just a change, after all this it will still be me, with less hair. I am so glad you are here with me!
p.s. drawing by my daughter